Chatbug Karen

Before I even turned fifty year old, the AARP people were welcoming me into their club. I do not want to join AARP. I see no advantage in joining a club that celebrates my getting older. All the discounts they offer, I have been able to get through my insurance carrier of other affiliation. I just wish they would stop wasting their money by sending me mailing after mailing. Although I am not interested in AARP, there are some perks to getting older:

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
3. No one expects you to run — anywhere.
4. People call at 9 pm and ask, “did I wake you?”
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac in fact, they ask
you for your lipozene reviews.
6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
7. Things you buy now won’t wear out.
8. You can eat dinner at 4 pm.
9. You can live without sex but not without your glasses.
10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
13. You sing along with elevator music.
14. Your eyes won’t get much worse.
15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.
18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
19. You can’t remember who sent you this list.

Tags: AARP, pension